gutterxglitz

This is a super fun photo because these two girls are friends and are (obviously) modeling the same tee. On the left is Jessica modeling the ladies fitted t-shirt, and on the right is Cuppy, modeling the plus size tee! SO cute and so sweet!! :D

Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I've been here or even posted on LJ in general. I was diagnosed with genital warts in July 2008. I got them frozen off and used Aldara for 6 weeks and it went away. I didn't notice any symptoms after that and I thought it was all gone. This morning I noticed one or two tiny warts just inside the entrance of my vagina. I applied some tea tree oil in hopes that it will start to heal it but I'm feeling depressed over it because I thought it was all gone.

Has this happened to anyone else, where you think you're clear and then over a year later you get symptoms again?? Is this normal?

'I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers, an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.'

hi everybody i m selling some rilakkuma surpise box. really fun and cute

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'I believe the cost of life is death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born.'

Bill Hicks

Well, I'm pretty sure everyone knows how this works by now, but I'll keep posting up the paragraph of rules or what not, just in case. ;)

Right now, I want everyone to post one good thing that happened to them today. If it's the fact that you managed through an important test without having a breakdown, or simply the fact that you made it through that one light that always manages to turn red on you, I want everyone to post something good that happened to them today. Despite what most might think, there's always at least one good thing that happens to everyone, every day. :)
I promise that if we can just sit and collect a page of good things that happen, that it helps to forget everything terrible that's going on in all of our lives.

So everyone, please write down one good thing that's happened to you!
I'll start:

Umm... well, today nothing terrible happened. :) Overall, it's been a pretty decent day. School went fine, I had a really cool art idea for my next project, a cool idea for Christmas presents for all my friends, and I'm getting my webpage done. It's due tomorrow, so I need to get a move on, but... if I just work until about eight tonight, I should be good.
Here's hoping, at least.

Now go, everyone!

Also, I'll try to comment on everyone's posts, but I'm sorry if I cannot. D:

Gaw. this is the last week of school before christmas for me. I'm so fucking stressed. I have 4 exams to do. 2 on wednesday, 2 on friday. I have a feeling i wont be able to do it. I have zero concentration *sighs*

I wanted to call my psych, because seriously, my concentration problem has reached the point where i cant take it anymore. I was sitting down, trying to study. I had to re-read the paragraph like 3 times to understand what it was saying. its horrible. I broke in tears. I don't know what to do. I have to read a book and write an essay based on it. I'm reading it, but i have no idea what im reading. its just word in front of me.

It's making me so freaking anxious. I'm just.. frozen. idk what to do. I really hope my psych will call me back tomorrow otherwise idk what i'll do. :(

and all of this makes me pretty depressed. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep and forget i have school work to do, and real life to deal with.

I feel like such a failure. Why can't i do my school work like everybody else?

Am i alone in this?

Hi guys, I've been watching this community for a while but have never posted...

I'm 18 and from the UK, and have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I never really thought I had a problem because I thought it was somewhat normal to feel scared all the time. Everyone called me shy and that is what I thought it was... but when I was referred to the CAMHT a few years ago it became obvious as just how much control it had over my life.

I done well in the first year of therapy and could do some basic things I never thought possible like ride a bus (sounds pathetic, right?)... but the past year and a bit the focus was on depression until my old therapist left on sick leave. This was June or so this year and since then I've been mostly alone in dealing with everything. However recently I've been referred to the adult services and have my second appointment with them on wednesday but I don't feel as though I can talk to them and (guess what) I'm scared to open up. My anxiety is out of control again. Last week I had my worst panic attack in months and ever since then I haven't been able to calm down...my emotions, my thoughts, my actions; I feel like I'm going insane. My tablets are barely working (propranolol 60mg) and I can't concentrate which only makes things worse for college because I have exams in a few weeks time which makes me panic more and it all goes in a spiral and I feel worse and worse. I can barely sleep or eat and I keep on moodswinging from being panic attack anxious to suicidally depressed to angry and clingly and anxious that everybody is going to leave and hates me and it's causing other problems which makes the anxiety even worse!! I don't know what to do anymore and I'm getting thoughts on making it all end and to be honest I'm tempted in going through with them... everything is terrifying and I don't know how to cope anymore with anything. People, life, eating, college, Christmas, myself as a generalised example... I know I'm having irrational thoughts but I can't control them or anything anymore and everything is just going downdowndown.

Sorry for unloading like that, I just feel so alone and lost and unsure on what to do anymore, something i'm sure you may understand. I hope you're all having a better day / night and thanks for listening... take care

Hey all,

I have been without my Klonopin for a few weeks now, due to health insurance issues. I am finally going to get them this Friday but until then I have been sick to my stomach because of anxiety. I had a few stressful events lately that have lingered and I cannot seem to calm my stomach down. I have been getting little sleep, barely been able to eat. This is way worse than I have ever experienced before.

I hate feeling like this is because I cannot take my medicine, I never took it everyday anyways but just knowing it isn't around in case I need it is completely freaking me out. I feel like I cannot function and all I can think about is doing something to get out of my head.

Just needed to rant a little. Who experiences pain because of their anxiety? I have had chronic migraines/headaches for awhile and it wasn't until this stomach thing that made me really realize that the anxiety is mostly causing me all this pain. Emotional affecting the physical never made so much sense to me before.

I hope you guys are having a good, anxiety-free day.

Young as she is, the stuff
Of her life is a great cargo, and some of it heavy:
I wish her a lucky passage.

******


It is always a matter, my darling,
Of life or death, as I had forgotten. I wish
What I wished you before, but harder.


The Writer by Richard Wilbur

What she had begun to learn was the weight of liberty. Freedom is a heavy load, a great and strange burden for the spirit to undertake. It is not easy. It is not a gift given, but a choice made, and the choice may be a hard one. The road goes upward toward the light; but the laden traveler may never reach the end of it.

Hey all!


After avoiding therapy for so many years, just recently I finally decided to get some help. I've been suffering from Depression, Paranoia, and Anxiety since my pre-teens, but I never believed it to actually be an issue. No no, never that, especially since I was freaking out for so long, not making friends, having severe mood swings, and thinking that somebody was going to kill me every time I closed my eyes to sleep. No no. *ahem* The gist of a longer explanation I should say.


So I have been seeing a therapist for the last few weeks, and today I had a doctor's appointment. I'm kinda miffed by the diagnosis, because my issue isn't actually hearing voices, it's the manic freak outs, the panic attacks, the racing thoughts, inability to cope with it, lack of sleep, poor diet, and the whole shebang. But of course, I had to tell him that I have heard voices, and sometimes still do.


So I get labeled Schizoaffective. *bam!* I have never heard of this. Ever. Schizophrenia, yes, but not that. And the voices don't affect the way I cope with my emotional stress. At all. And so of course I turned down the meds, and opted for full therapy.


Either way, I came here for the panic attacks and problems with sleep I've been having, due to the PTSD my therapist diagnosed me with, considering my childhood, and the last year of my life where I lived with a "friend" who used me, abused me, and then disposed of me. Run-on sentences! Long story. Long story short, I was able to somewhat cope before her, and afterwards I was trying to kill myself. Ugh. I won't get into her now, as she gives me horrible nightmares.

God, I'm so sorry for the rambly.


Anyway, has anyone every heard of EMDR therapy? I'll be doing this in the next couple of months. Sounds pretty interesting. I had no clue this stuff existed. Any thoughts or experiences? Does it work?


And HAI ALL! <3